The Proverbs 31 Woman/Remix


 Have you ever felt intimidated by the Proverbs 31 Woman, thinking she's too perfect and you'll never measure up? I sure have, but God in His infinite wisdom, helped me see the Proverbs 31 Woman in a whole new light.  Read the original passage below and then continue down and read the Proverbs 31 Woman Remix. Grab your Bible and journal and ask God to help you see yourself as He sees you in light of the Proverbs 31 Woman. 

The Proverbs 31 Woman

(Proverbs 10-31)

A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies. 11  Her

husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value.

12  She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life.

     13  She selects wool and flax and works with eager hands.

14  She is like the merchant ships, bringing her food from afar.

15  She gets up while it is still night; she provides food for her family

    and portions for her female servants.

16  She considers a field and buys it; out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.

17  She sets about her work vigorously; her arms are strong for her tasks.

18  She sees that her trading is profitable, and her lamp does not go out at night.    

19  In her hand she holds the distaff and grasps the spindle with her fingers.

20  She opens her arms to the poor and extends her hands to the needy.    

21  When it snows, she has no fear for her household;

for all of them are clothed in scarlet.

22  She makes coverings for her bed; she is clothed in fine linen and purple.    

23  Her husband is respected at the city gate,

    where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.

24  She makes linen garments and sells them,

and supplies the merchants with sashes.

25  She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come.

     26  She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue.    

27  She watches over the affairs of her household

    and does not eat the bread of idleness.

28  Her children arise and call her blessed;

    her husband also, and he praises her:

29  “Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all.”

     30  Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;

    but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.

31  Honor her for all that her hands have done,

    and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.



The Proverbs 31 Woman Remix

The virtuous wife: “Who can find a virtuous wife? For her worth is far above rubies” (Proverbs 31:10).

Instead of elevating the woman to a level of near perfection and beauty, Perhaps this verse is speaking

to men, providing them guidance for finding a virtuous wife. Maybe it’s suggesting they take their time

and work hard to discover that hidden gem. As I researched further, I wondered why choose a ruby for

this analogy as opposed to a diamond? Well, I looked into the process of mining for rubies, and I

discovered it’s a pretty intricate deal. The first thing I learned is that large rubies with a clear, consistent

deep-red color are so rare that they’re worth ten times more than diamonds. Second, you can’t find

rubies everywhere. You have to know where to look. The miners have to dig a pit at least nine feet deep.

Then they tediously and meticulously sift through the dirt and the sand, looking for nuggets or rock.

They have to break apart the single rock very carefully to see if a ruby’s inside.

So I got to thinking. What if a man went through a similar process to find his ruby of a wife? If he would

first recognize her worth and didn’t look in bars or nightclubs but in places where he’d be more likely to

find rubies. Then he’d take his time to sort through the dirt and the fake stones to find what might be a

ruby, rubbing away the layers to discover whether it was the real thing.

I also realized that there’s a message here for women too: we should value ourselves as much as rubies

are valued. We should expect men to work hard to gain our love, trust, and respect. We should expect

them to treat us like treasured rubies, and we shouldn’t accept anything less.

“She seeks wool and flax, and willingly works with her hands. She is like the merchant ships, she

brings her food from afar … She considers a field and buys it; from her profits she plants a vineyard …

She perceives that her merchandise is good, and her lamp does not go out by night. She stretches out

her hands to the distaff, and her hand holds the spindle … She makes linen garments and sells them,

and supplies sashes for the merchants” (Proverbs 31:13–14, 16, 18–19, 24).

I used to look at this passage like a long laundry list of all the things I was supposed to do—buy, sell,

sew, plant. I viewed these things as burdensome chores, and my success as a wife was all wrapped up in

how much of those things I could do. But when I group them like this, I see that maybe these verses are

talking more about the traits of a virtuous wife and not about all that she should be doing. We don’t

have to work in a field or in business or know how to sew (and I certainly hope not, because I’d fail

miserably). But we should discover whatever gifts we have and use them to make our families better.

We should be wise and make good decisions, and our work should be top quality so that others respect

us. And whatever the wife does should reflect well on her husband and on her family. Every decision

made should be made against the backdrop of your family -- -- Should I work outside the home? Should I

home school? Should I take that promotion? Should I go back to school? Should I be a stay-at- home

mom? I don’t think there’s a right or wrong answer with the exception of how will these choices and

decisions impact your marriage, your children and your family unit? How will these choices allow you to

accomplish your ultimate goal of exemplifying Christ, accomplishing His work, and drawing your family

closer to Him?

“She also rises while it is yet night, and provides food for her household, and a portion for her

maidservants … She makes tapestry for herself; her clothing is fine linen and purple … She is not afraid

of snow for her household, for her household is clothed with scarlet … She girds herself with strength,

and strengthens her arms” (Proverbs 31:15, 22, 21, 17).

Her home is her first priority. This seems to be the theme throughout the passage. Take care of the

home. If the home is stable and secure and built on a strong foundation, everything else will fall into

place. She also takes care of herself. Strengthening the arms must involve exercise, and her clothes are

fine linen, so she’s making sure that she looks good. She’s representing her home, so she’s careful about

her appearance.

“Her husband is known in the gates, when he sits among the elders of the land … The heart of her

husband safely trusts her; so he will have no lack of gain.   She does him good and not evil all the days

of her life” (Proverbs 31:23, 11–12).

I think these three verses speak to the qualities a virtuous wife should have. They seem to suggest how

important it is that wives respect and trust their husbands. A virtuous wife should be trustworthy. Her

husband should know beyond a shadow of a doubt that she has his best interests at heart. She will not

speak badly of him in front of others, she will support his interests and encourage him, and she will want

what’s good for him. His heart should be safe in her hands. He should be respected at home and in the

community. He should not have to worry about what others are saying behind his back about his wife or

his home. He should walk with his head held high. He should be proud to be her husband, and she

should be proud to be his wife.

“She extends her hand to the poor, yes, she reaches out her hands to the needy … Strength and

honor are her clothing; she shall rejoice in time to come. She opens her mouth with wisdom, and on

her tongue is the law of kindness. She watches over the ways of her household, and does not eat the

bread of idleness … Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing, but a woman who fears the Lord, she

shall be praised” (Proverbs 31:20, 25–27, 30).

These verses might be the most important in the passage because they speak to a woman’s character.

The virtuous wife should be about service to others. She should be compassionate to those in need and

be willing to help in any way she can. She should have honor and integrity and hold firm to her beliefs.

She should have inner strength and wisdom, and be kind. She shouldn’t be idle. She should love God

more than anything, and she should always rejoice and praise His name. And at the same time, she

should be watching over her home, not letting church, work, friends, or anything else interfere with her

first priority, well her second priority after God, her family.

“Give her of the fruit of her hands, and let her own works praise her in the gates … Her children rise

up and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her: Many daughters have done well, but

you excel them all” (Proverbs 31:31, 28–29).

Her children call her blessed, her husband praises her, she is respected in the community, and above all,

God finds favor in her. A wife and a mother are not slaves or glorified maids (not that I think there’s

anything wrong with being a maid). A virtuous wife is valued, blessed, and praised and I think that’s

worth shouting for, don’t you?